Yesterday evening I went to a knitting group at a local Borders and met up with 7 other lovely knitting women. (they were lovely and their knitting was lovely!) It is so nice to meet people here with similar interests and whom you feel comfortable with quickly. I can’t wait until next month when we do it again!
I had asked my ex to watch my daughter a bit late that evening so that I could go to this event. He said that he could, but then called me at the event saying that he made other plans. I was disappointed to have to leave early but felt like I did get some lovely time out so I managed. What burned me is that in the end he didn’t show up until way after the time he said he would, meaning that I could have stayed probably another half hour or more!
Then I had a strange dream about him last night. Those of you who know the whole situation may see the significance (if there is any and if I am not reading into it!). In my dream, I was trying to get him to pay his part of the child care. He was a month and a half behind in my dream (just like real life, imagine that!) The daycare had decided to ask him for it directly, and then I got called in because he was going a little bit crazy. So I walked up toward the childcare building and he was walking out, face all red with what was tears or anger, I couldn’t tell from the distance. But I could feel no sympathy for him. He came closer and got up in my face screaming at me about how he was now out of $500 all of a sudden and he couldn’t afford it. In my dream, he looked so large, he was looming over me. And those who know me know I am not a small woman, and that I am at least as tall as him. But he was certainly threatening me in my dream, and I wanted to run away. Then, instead of running off and retreating, I drew myself up as tall as I could make me, rocked up onto tip toes, and informed him that not only was it his responsibility to pay half the childcare, but if he did it on time it wouldn’t hurt so much. Suddenly I was the one who was larger, and I felt a sense of triumph through the fear in my dream.
Perhaps it is a significant dream, perhaps it is JUST a dream, perhaps it is just a reflection of how I felt during the day, but it did reflect what had happened during the day, as he was asked to pay over $500 in child care bills and he did get angry with me because it was such a hit. And I did tell him that if he payed it on time he wouldn’t feel the hit so hard.