It is official

I am changing my last name back to my maiden name.  I have made this decision for a variety of reasons.  Firstly, I like my maiden name!  Also, my married name is boring.  Secondly, I think it is not good to be tied even in name to this person I have divorced.  His life is a train wreck and any additional degrees of separation may be a positive thing.  Because I still bear his last name, I am constantly getting collections agency notices and bankruptcy attorney offers because of bills which are not my responsibility.  Perhaps a name change will help this a bit.

The main reason I have not done so yet is because this means I will have a different last name from my daughter.  I don’t think in the end that this is a big issue, as a lot of children, I am sad to say, have similar situations.  Perhaps it is slightly selfish to not want to be reminded of your ex every time you tell someone your name, but I have been giving this thought all summer long and I don’t believe I am doing this for selfish reasons, but rather to protect myself and my daughter from someone who is in a constant state of denial about the train wreck that is his life.  And we all know he isn’t going to change!

On the knitting front, I finished the second baby hat yesterday but did not find time to take a picture before I eagerly gave it to the parent of the rightful owner.  If I am lucky, they will send me some pictures of the girls wearing the hats, that would be lovely.  Now it is project that must not be named all the time.

In addition to this, I am going to try my hand at designing some colorwork patterns.  Not the whole garment but the patterns that can be worked into the garment.   I just need more graph paper, the stuff I have right now is too large for the bigger projects I am working on.  That should happen on Friday.

In school news, I missed a question on my quiz yesterday.  I had been complaining that I didn’t have enough time to study this week but to be honest, no amount of studying would have changed my answer in this case.  He was deliberately trying to trip us up with that question and he got me!  I knew the answer was not correct, it did not look right at all.  I kept thinking “why would a poet do that?  That can’t be right!” and indeed it wasn’t.  But first midterm is next week and it just makes me want to study all the harder.  In fact, I have canceled any plans I had for the weekend in order to stay at home and study.   The only thing I haven’t canceled is my knit night but I would not typically be studying during that time period anyhow.  So I don’t consider it a loss to study time.

On a final note…what is it with my rebellious nature?  What is it that makes me want to do the opposite of what people tell me to do?  I have always been this way a little bit.  A good example of this is my neighbor down the road.  I don’t particularly care for her.  She doesn’t like the fact that when I park my car in my driveway, the tail end hangs out into the sidewalk a bit.  Now, I do have a garage, but it is a tight squeeze and I don’t really feel like putting the car in there during the warm months.  It is a bit of a pain, I don’t have a garage door opener so it feels like I have to get in and out of my car a whole bunch to get it in the garage.  Then once it is in there, it is hard to get my daughter out.  It really wasn’t her asking me necessarily that bugged me but the way she went about it.  She doesn’t just ask nicely but I always get this veiled tone of “you are stupid and you are doing this to make me angry” which is not the case.  My theory is that if she finds it so hard to walk around the tail end of my car (which does leave sidewalk room) then she can march herself over to the other side of the road where there is a nice open sidewalk with no cars at all.  After all, I am not the only car on my side of the street that hangs its tail onto the sidewalk!  Soon enough the weather is going to get cool and I am not going to want to scrape windows so the car will go in the garage again.  But why does she just rub me the wrong way and bring up my reactionary nature?  Of course, when I mentioned this to significant other, he being a much better person than I could hope to be, instantly said “Sweetie, I think maybe it is just better to park your car where it doesn’t bother her, after all, if we can and are able to do something to make someone else’s life easier, shouldn’t we just be happy to do it?”  Well, I don’t think I can argue with that logic.

6 thoughts on “It is official

  1. I am completely undecided about what I would do with my name should the situation ever come up. Why can’t men change their names anyway?! But good for you; it sounds like it will be a very positive change.

    As for the car…..while I see your dude’s point, and the part of me that tries very hard to be a good person agrees with him entirely, and the world would be a better place if we all thought like that, and while I try to live by a karmic code……I would be entirely inclined to stick it to the nasty lady lol!

  2. I have a husband just like that. He always does the right thing. I usually do too, but only after kicking and screaming (and whining).

  3. I can argue with it. Sometimes we have to do what is easiest for us and makes us most happy.

    She has no right to dictate where you park under any circumstances. You pay taxes there, so you own as much of the sidewalk as she does.

    If she wants you to park in the garage, but it makes life harder for you to do so, suggest she pay for your garage to be enlarged. Until she does so, she is more than welcome to STFU. 😉

  4. Changing your last name is a fine idea. No worries that it would be different from your daughter’s. You would most likely change it if you decide to marry again anyway. Just be prepared to be called “Mrs. Daughter’s Last Name” every time you hear from her school or visit her classroom.

  5. Just a quick note of support. I have been there. Reclaiming your name is powerful, and I commend you on your bravery. The ties that bind you to your daughter will never be severed by a name. Best of luck!

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