I was going to post some general silliness, until I heard the news.
I have 2 coworkers here. I always refer to one as “favorite coworker” but really they are both my favorite. Other favorite coworker (M) lost her husband (R) this morning.
I just wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on him and them as a couple. Some memories of a man who was amazing, and though a smaller part of my life over all, a large part of it at this time.
M and R have been married many years. I don’t know the exact number but it has got to be at least 40 years. Probably more. They have a general camaraderie that really works for them and was always fun to watch on the outside looking in. They are both kind people willing to do anything for the people they love. R was always very curious about people in general. He loved to ask lots of questions and always remembered what was going on in your life. Things like that just make you feel special! When he would call in to work and not get M, he would always chat with us for a few seconds and crack some jokes. We are really mourning the fact that we will not get to hear his friendly voice on the phone, lightening our day and making us feel special.
M and R have a special sense of family. We would often sit and listen during work break about how R was tirelessly driving his grandchildren from one activity to the next. In a sense being their “soccer mom”. They tried not to miss anything their kids or grandkids were doing. R also had a lovely generosity with M as well as those around him. We would hear stories of how he would get almost irritated with M if she wouldn’t go pick up more clothing of a style she found that she liked. This was not a man who would deny his family anything.
In that same sense of family, they gathered others to them. M has been my “grandmother” as I am so far from home. Last Thanksgiving I spent with them, even though I am not part of their family. They opened their home to me during a time when I had nowhere else to go and made me feel welcome and even important in that day. When I was going through my nasty separation and divorce, M came to me so privately and quietly, letting me know that she and R had talked it over and wanted to make sure I was ok, and that if I needed anything, even financially, they wanted me to be able to ask them for it. This is someone I had known for only 2 months at that time! This is generosity.
I often think about the relationship that M and R had, that we got to see bits and pieces of here at work. I will never forget R calling M multiple times a day asking various questions and checking in. And she would pretend to be so irritated but we all knew it was a ruse and it just made us laugh. Or how she would sometimes schedule her Dr. appointments after work and tell him she was working extra long, just so that he wouldn’t worry over her. I enjoyed who they were as a couple very much, and I am hurting for M and her family, knowing that they now have to find their place here without him.