Endings and Beginnings

With bug away at camp last week, I was able to have a bunch of time to do stuff that I enjoy. Biking, music, gardening, spinning, hanging with friends. Now she is home, and I am adjusting to the fact that it is time to get back into a routine for a couple weeks. The ending of a busy but great week, the beginning of a new routine.

In the end, simply the fact that Bug was at camp felt like an ending and a beginning. The ending of her young childhood, the beginning of her more “tween” years, a fact I’ve been trying to deal with for about 6 or 7 months. Not that she isn’t a little girl, she is. She still plays little girl games. But it isn’t the same. And her maturity at camp and her love of it, and her desire to stay another week just highlighted that even more.

I’ve always said that I enjoy her more every year, because it gets easier every year. But I find myself, this year, looking back at the ages of 6 and 7 and feeling a bit melancholy. Wishing I could go back to that for a bit. Revisit it. Simply for the fun that was then, even though now is also fun. She’s close to 9 now, which means we are close to some big changes. And she is so mature this year that I am consistently surprised over it.

I think one of the reasons I enjoyed gardening this week had something to do with that time for reflection we rarely give ourselves. I can’t passively reflect, it has to be an active endeavor. I need to be moving. If I am moving, I can think and reflect. Thankfully, the simple act of pulling weeds, hands in the dirt, attempting to avoid the bugs, was movement enough for me this weekend. Very pleasant.

Perhaps with Bug back home I’ll find more spinning time. That seems likely. But, as for now, it doesn’t seem I am getting much done. I’ve got the brown and orange loop bump moving into the second color.

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And then there’s the tiny bit of spinning I have been working on in my spare time on the pastel loop bump. I am working on my fourth spindle full, and it is coming along. Not quickly, but we are getting there.

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One thought on “Endings and Beginnings

  1. My son turned 8 in June and I know what you mean about feeling a bit bittersweet about being on the cusp some major changes. Everyone seems to expect me to be more worried about my little one (she’s 5) growing up, but it’s my boy that sends my heart into my throat & tears to my eyes on a regular basis. Best of luck as you begin to navigate this next chapter & know that you are not the only mom feeling this way!

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